Glasierener Miniweizen!

The Oily Night With R. Mutt

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 13:00:37 GMT

Well, I finished up my first show at TUL as a DJ about an hour ago. Three hours of non-stop scribbling info about what I was playing on notecards because I couldn't log into the internet logging system. Got in a lot of classics along the lines of Wire, Pere Ubu, Tom Waits, etc. Also, this presented a great opportunity to hear all the new shit Dylan has been trying to get me to listen to for two months. Now I can afford to be a pretentious asshole by incessantly going on and on about how cool it is to be a DJ and draw up some crude FCC "credentials" to flash all of the time. I'll have to draw the ID because I don't know whether or not I even passed the DJ exam and haven't gotten my physical FCC license yet if they even give those to people. Rest assured, if I ever get my real FCC license I'm going to print it onto a t-shirt or some shit.

Top Ten Best Constructed Narratives

Sun, 13 Dec 2009 19:11:16 GMT

In the past ten years, making lists of things ordered from the very best to the hundredth best has become a common practice. Top fifty albums, ten best reality tv moments, fifteen funniest market crashes, etc. Individuals in our society are more thoroughly integrated into the common stream of information by new technology (twitter, smartphones, social networking) everyday. We all drown in a vast soup of minute details, totally connected to everyone on our twitter subscription lists thru a portable pocket device like some kind of race of omnipresent beings with cosmic prosthetics. Meaning rapidly disintegrates under these circumstances, etc, you get the idea. My point is that it's probable that all of these ranking lists are some kind of desperate, subconscious attempt to reassign meaning to the thoroughly meaningless and ephemeral entertainment culture (devoid of meaning to begin with), utilizing basic numeric values. Assigning quantitative value to this sort of crap leads to a makeshift, flimsy way of perceiving things and their value. I guess all of the numbers are so comforting in their obviousness, in their value being easily extrapolated in this place where any sort of rooted meaning has been abolished. Polishing brass on the Titanic, dudes.

The Pitchahs

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 01:51:30 GMT

Because I'm a duderonomy with nothing but time, I decided to post youtube links to the trailers for all of my favorite movies on liverjournal. Woo, boy.

Sofia Coppola's Lost In Translation

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FNn-2CTXzAw

David Fincher's Fight Club

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2QgFWXLN-ug

Oliver Stone's Natural Born Killers

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tKxvXs0bKWk

Jim Jarmusch's Down By Law

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EcSxhjH0pwA

Jim Jarmusch's Dead Man

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DDceawCF5Xk

Jim Jarmusch's Coffee & Cigarettes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxYRsqkRS_k

Steven Spielberg's Jurassic Park

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bim7RtKXv90

Harmony Korine's Julien Donkey-Boy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WUS8GGujwro

Terry Gilliam's Brazil

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Wh2b1eZFUM

Unfortunately, I couldn't find a trailer for Werner Herzog's Stroszek. I guess no trailer is better than a hilariously bad trailer; that NBK one is a laugh and a half. Also, the one for Fight Club seems to misconstrue it as some kind of romantic comedy, which is very funny.

Edit: I totally forgot!

Alfonso Cuarón's Children Of Men

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NikEQy1XxDE

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 23:01:38 GMT

Life does have that tendency to whack you upside the head with curve balls. At least there's the positive result of that creeping sense of everyday-ness not being able to fuck with me.

Thu, 29 Oct 2009 06:25:53 GMT

Hey gise, here's my new drawing of Zacee-Poo, hope you like it.

Suffering the company of a hundred wholesale Zeligs, Molly Ringwald vomits the sum of pin-stripped cuneiforms. Cheap orators, ubiquitous in the costumed air of 3rd & Hennepin, guzzle pockmarked gingerale with the zeal of an alcoholic fresh from his fourth, wasted AA meeting. One more time for the record, you obsequious fuck. Always conducting your repetitious bullshit under the patronage of dowdy harpies, you're best left for a vaseline symphonic.

Sun, 11 Oct 2009 23:22:18 GMT

Me? I eat dust, dudes.

Mon, 14 Sep 2009 22:01:00 GMT

Totally awesome. Working at WTUL with the prospect of getting to be a real live DJ in November almost convinces me of having a purpose. YEAH RIGHT, HEY. Now, I'm making progress in the year like everyone who actually goes to school! Later, dudes.

Sat, 20 Jun 2009 07:18:36 GMT

AAANGST: I've been depressed (De La Salle flavored), really hot/sweaty/tired, and angry to a severe degree in equal parts for ninety-six hours straight. With any luck, the recovery time from this worst mood won't be proportionally as long.

Wed, 03 Jun 2009 15:41:19 GMT

You know those mornings when you wake up in the middle of some heavy dreams but, you leap out of bed as soon as you wake, regardless? Those days in whichyou feel so groggy you feel stuck in a hypnagogic state? Huuuuuuuuuuuggggggmmrmgmmmmmmmmmmmmmhypnagogisemmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Mon, 20 Apr 2009 06:20:21 GMT

J.G. Ballard died and that sucks.

Tue, 14 Apr 2009 17:17:12 GMT

I'm fairly certain I just saw a white moving truck with "AL QAEDA ICE CREAM DISTR." on the side.

Peter Brotzmann's Machine Gun is the most intense piece of music I've ever heard. That shit can incite fatal seizures.

Sat, 04 Apr 2009 07:29:51 GMT

Mark my words, the newish bumps/adverts Adult Swim has been using are directly influenced by Max Ernst's collages.

Fri, 03 Apr 2009 23:34:52 GMT

So, I just found out that Sarah's dad, Steve, is gay. You see, he and Sarah's mom aren't married. SCANDALOUS.

Mon, 23 Mar 2009 22:22:11 GMT

Life is good. I'm in good health. Things couldn't be better!

Wed, 18 Mar 2009 06:15:11 GMT

Mi Ami in that there PCOLE. Dancefest 09 of like thirty six people forever, ya'll. Now, it is my duty to make all of the money in the world.

IN SHOWBIZ THERE'S NO ECHO ECHO ECHO

Sat, 14 Mar 2009 07:18:28 GMT

Mi Ami is playing three days from now, on the first day of the Rightguard job. I'll be very upset if I cannot see Dylan and I's new favorite band when they unexpectedly come here while Dylan is in town. I can only hope for even a tiny gap in between wrap time and the start of the show. It's like a challenge. Mi Ami knows Dylan and I want to make an afro no beat band, like them. They know we've got the encyclopedic music knowledge to pull it off pretty damn well. Trying to discourage the competition by specifically playing a date here when I might not be able to see them. I SWEAR I WILL SEE THEM IN CONCERT AND THEY WILL KICK ASS AND WHEN THEY'RE DONE I WILL KICK THEIR ASSES.

Sales Representative

Fri, 13 Mar 2009 03:46:13 GMT

Have you ever analyzed your social relationships with salespeople? You see, I'm normally pretty panicked at the idea of standard interaction with another person. I usually keep my interactions closely pruned within the categories of "schtick" and "panic". I noticed today, however, that most of my interactions with varying sales representatives to be warm, casual, and generally pleasant. I imagine that's those are the qualities regular people attribute to meetings with acquaintances or strangers. Now, you see, I'm perfectly aware that the purpose of a sales person's actions is to convince me to buy something. Smiling and addressing me by my first name and motioning me towards the latest hot commodity. The sales representative and I are acting within the scripted roles of "pitchman" and "consumer". Knowing this, why would I feel that these relationships are more comfortable, perhaps even more genuine? Maybe the comfort is derived by how false it is; our actions are limited to our uncomplicated roles. Each party is able to maintain the facade perfectly, their prowess developed our of necessity, mine out of habit. The interaction goes "according to plan" and everyone's left smiling. Meeting new people isn't free form, it's just as scripted. The script is more ambitious, though, with a wider array of stock characters to channel. There are more cues to miss, a lot more at stake. Perhaps it's mutual altruism. Both parties are aware of the soul-crushingly insipid social network they're locked into and figure the best they can do for the other person is act genuinely pleasant. As nice as that would be, I don't think it's the case. That's all I have to say about the alloted subject right now.

Tue, 03 Mar 2009 03:56:09 GMT

Permahise.

Wed, 28 Jan 2009 17:14:29 GMT

TV On The Radio covered David Bowie's Heroes and that's just great. Bise.

Keep The "MMMM" In Christmas

Thu, 25 Dec 2008 16:55:32 GMT

Did you know: the "x" in "xmas" is a substitute crucifix for Christ.
~Mark E Smith, Senior Holiday Analyst

Monarch

Tue, 16 Dec 2008 00:02:26 GMT

I constructed a mix that I think is very nice. The theme is how large Sarah's ass is. The cover of the copy I gave her was adorned with bloody bandages from my recent wrist wound. Unfolded, it kind of resembled a Rorschach test.

1. Portishead - Silence
2. Wavves - California Goth
3. Liquid Liquid - Cavern
4. The Fall - New Big Prinz
5. Sam Cooke - A Change Is Gonna Come
6. John Cage - Music For Piano 3
7. Country Joe & The Fish - LSD Commercial
8. The Chiffons - He's So Fine
9. The Jesus & Mary Chain - Alphabet Street (Prince cover)
10. Edan - Beauty
11. The Rolling Stones - She's Like A Rainbow
12. Autolux - Future Perfect
13. Erik Satie - Trois Nocturnes 2
14. Tom Waits - The Ocean Doesn't Want Me
15. The Birthday Party - Capers
16. No Age - Sleeper Hold
17. Bo Diddley - Hush Your Mouth
18. The Wu Tang Clan - C.R.E.A.M.
19. Neil Young - I'm The Ocean

Waste Wound

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 09:11:02 GMT

I was beating a toilet with a lead pipe at the wasteland tonight, when a chunk of porcelain flew off and sliced open the top of my left wrist. It bled like a mother fucker for the first couple of minutes. I got to wrap it in my scarf like an infantry man.

That's it covered with iodine. Weapons-grade disinfectant that stung worse than the initial wound. Andrew's mother obliged in bandaging me with what looks like shrinkwrap. Judging by how little skin is there now, it may bring forth a lump of scar tissue.

Bullshit

Sat, 22 Nov 2008 04:00:38 GMT

Best not be in my hemisphere when I get my hands on Steve Jobs' collar. So, ah, I brought this computer to the Mac store today to keep my appointment with the "Mac Genius". I couldn't make up that job title but, Dylan could. After, as I expected, telling me that he couldn't even try to do anything about my issues with third party programs, the genius more or less tried to convince me that my computer is fine. He somehow coaxed my laptop (with clandestine promises of candy and smoky, romantic interludes) into burning a DVD right there in front of me. The genius also suggested that I just reinstall the operating system without erasing all of my information in order to fix my grab-bag of miscellaneous, exotic problems. After this nanowitted cock-sucker was done exploiting my trust in his apparent genius in order to get out of doing any real diagnostic work, I went home and reinstalled my OS. This rendered my machine totally impotent, unable to even boot up. I promptly vomited with anger and, after crying for thirty minutes, called tech support and demanded that they walk me thru fixing my computer until it was only as broken it was several hours previous. After reviewing my bizarre list of problems, they determined (of course) that reformatting my hard drive would be best. Luckily, I already had everything backed up on my external hard drive for just such an occasion. Except for, somehow, most of the music I'd managed to collect in my time using this as my primary machine. At least for my Fall records. Thank god, I'd lose my fucking mind and smear shit on all of my nicest clothing if I didn't have at least twenty albums of Mark E. Smith at my fingertips. Somewhere in the midst of this bullshit, I determined that my version of Pro Tools might simply be incompatible with the current generation of my OS, a problem easily fixed with a software update. I've come to this conclusion twice before and I've been wrong both times but, it's been a couple of months since last time and I think it's time to take this shit idea for another spin! It's too bad that the CD drive still doesn't work so I can't install Pro Tools onto my newly fresh laptop. I really shouldn't have to consider the option of selling whichever computer and using the money to purchase another one as often as I do. I think.

Tue, 04 Nov 2008 20:48:14 GMT

Vote Leon Theremin for president.

Sweet Toothache Pain

Wed, 29 Oct 2008 01:42:02 GMT

My wisdom teeth are coming in on the left side of my mouth. Until today, it had been a formidable annoyance, but nothing more than that. Today, however, the pain has sustained itself all day, my oral anesthetic ceasing to have any effect. The two previous days, my mouth didn't hurt at all. Today, it's on the threshold of "mildly severe". With any luck, it'll stop long enough for me to go to sleep tonight. I suppose it's karma. All those years spouting racial slanders against my teeth. Now, the kraken's on the other hand. That other hand is underneath my gums. There is an enraged kraken trying to burst thru my gums.